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Malcolm
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Charlotte fan
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Reged: 11/20/03
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Posts: 788
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Loc: West Midlands UK
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Did you get a really bad joke in your Christmas Cracker? 
This is the one that I got:
What goes oom oom? A cow walking backwards.   
They don't get much worse than that. 
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DREAM A DREAM Charlotte's Greatest
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IlStevo
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Creative Genius Extraordinaire
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Reged: 11/19/03
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Posts: 1379
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What game do cows play at parties? Moosical chairs
Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head? Because from a distance they looked like hares
How do you stop a skunk from smelling? Hold its nose
What is a dog's favorite food? Anything on your plate
Why shouldn't you play cards in the jungle? Because there are too many cheetahs
What do you call a camel with no humps? A horse
Teacher: This homework is in your father's handwriting.
Pupil: I know, sir, I borrowed his pen
How does a vampire cross the ocean? In a blood vessel
Why is the sky so high? So birds don't bump their heads
How do Eskimos dress? As quickly as possible
How do you get rid of a boomerang? Throw it down a one-way street
Doctor, doctor, I think I'm invisible. Who said that?
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Fusilier
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Sir Fussy
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Reged: 11/20/03
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Posts: 1129
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Loc: NJ
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What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck!
What did the fish say after he bumped into a wall?
Dam!
What brand of coffee did they serve on the Titanic?
Sanka.
Where do butchers dance?
At a meatball!
What do you do with a green monster?
Wait till it ripens!
When is a door not a door?
When it's ajar!
I think I'd better quit before someone starts throwing things at me. 
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We will not tire, we will not falter, and we will not fail. George W. Bush, September 2001
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ViPeR
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Valiant Enchanter of the Ladies
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Reged: 11/19/03
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Posts: 4036
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Loc: Washington, United States, North America, Northwestern Hemisphere, Earth, Solar System, Gould Belt, Orion Arm, Milky Way, Local Group, Virgo Supercluster, Pisces-Cetus Supercluster Complex, Universe
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How 'bout Charl's favorite?
Why did the sun blush?
Because the sea weed!
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"Más valé pájaro en mano que ver un ciento volando."
"It's better to have a bird in hand than to see 100 flyby."
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IlStevo
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Creative Genius Extraordinaire
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What do you get when you cross a cow with a duck? Milk and quackers.
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IlStevo
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Creative Genius Extraordinaire
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A sad note... Eclipsed by all the trauma in the world at the moment, it
is worth reflecting on the death of a memorable person, which almost
went unnoticed last week. Larry La Prise, the man who wrote "The Hokey
Pokey" died peacefully at age 93. The most traumatic part for his family
was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in ... and then
the trouble started.
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Riverboat
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Bicycle Flight Instructor
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Posts: 3520
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Loc: South Texas
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Man, I actually laughed at that one. 
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IlStevo
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Creative Genius Extraordinaire
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A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack. "Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday."
Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager. Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral. The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.
Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office. She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"
The bank manager looks back at her and says... "It's a knick-knack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."
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halbrad
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Charlotte fan
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Reged: 11/27/03
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Posts: 1971
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Loc: Delta, B.C., Canada
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Malcolm
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Charlotte fan
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Reged: 11/20/03
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Posts: 788
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Loc: West Midlands UK
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--------------------
DREAM A DREAM Charlotte's Greatest
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